Theres a lot of ignorance about most things, but my immediate problem is to do with ignorance of nature, rather than an ignorance of science. (Despite what some may insist, these are not one and the same thing.)
Lycanthropy is apparently the psychological condition whereby an individual considers him- or herself to be an animal, more usually a wolf. In fact, Ive memorised the OED definition: A kind of insanity described by ancient writers, in which the patient imagined himself to be a wolf, and had the instincts and propensities of a wolf. Now occasionally applied as a name of those forms of insanity in which the patient imagines himself a beast, and exhibits depraved appetites, alteration of voice, etc., in accordance with this delusion. By that millennia-established definition, Im not a lycanthrope, Im a werewolf. A werewolf; a loups-garou; an hombre lobo; a wilkolak; an ulfverenar. Yes, its more than psychological. No, I don't sprout fur, maul people in Underground stations or go crazy when the wolfsbane blooms. I don't even grow fangs. More: its a sensual thing. And Ive grown to suspect that some dogs share the condition with me. Certainly a lot of wolves do, but maybe theyd be more correctly termed wolfweres, garou-loups, etc.
So: sensual. Yes. I learnt long ago Im capable of devoting myself to a partner, but monogamy and me just don't fit. And the most common misconception: the Change. Theres no change. How do you think Ive not had my secret uncovered before now? And how do I know Im not the same as everyone else? That Im not whats commonly termed normal? Well how do you know when an individuals autistic? Or psychotic? A lot of the time you don't, but there are quantifiers. Its the same with my condition. For instance: can you hear through walls? How about through walls half a mile away? And scents? Can you determine the sick calf hindering the pack just from its smell? You see? Its not only relative stuff. Its not like Im saying that the blue you see is the red I see, but its blue to both you and me and we wont ever be able to gauge the difference. There are measurable differences and the differences are extreme. Im not a normal man with extraordinary senses, like a Marvel superhero. Im part wolf, in here, my head, and in here, if you will, my heart. Though I guess to you head and heart are much the same, except for from a purely physical perspective. I figured out long ago how our differences are possible, though we share similar frames. Its nothing to do with science, mainly common sense. But thats of no concern to you now.
So no, I don't just have a wolfs senses, I have a wolfs sensibilities. And a humans too, just to confuse matters. And youre thinking, even if thats so, and Ill get you to prove it before Im near ready to believe you, why are you telling me this? But proofs such a transient thing; if we discard the concept that proof, similar to God in this respect though the antithesis of it does not exist, a clever enough trickster could convince you that he was a werewolf or a coyote at least. But I'm no trickster.
Because, in the absence of any politically viable option from your government, in the absence of a member of your familys love being strong enough to outweigh guilt, in the absence of any just law save my law (what Kipling, the misguided moustachioed imperialist termed The Law Of The Jungle), Ive told you all this in order to help you understand my role here, to explain why I do this.
The expression of the little girl in the bed didn't change, nor did the look on the face of the man who reached forward and switched off the machine at her side. All that altered was that the sound issuing from said machine was culled, as were the lesser sounds though he heard them with clarity whispered until that action by the girls artificially inflated/deflated lungs. Not even the scents changed. They were the scents that had brought him here, the scents of death.