Illustration courtesy Metropolitan Museum of Art (public domain)
Day 1.
Obviously, in a previous life I had looks
to go with my brains, power
to match my ambitions.
How long must I suffocate
in this ratty old rug, waiting
for some future emperor to unroll me?
Day 27.
I grow weary; impatience
is the asp at my breast, and its poison
gnaws me like the saw teeth
of a savannah predator.
I should be the one hunting,
not hungering.
Day 113.
Typical, how I must languish
and watch the other boats drift
down this pathetic excuse for a Nile.
How I long to set foot
on a rocking deck, and let
the wind fill lateen sails and float me away.
Day 438.
How disappointing.
The emperor’s handsome challenger
has died in a wreck.
Day 572.
I know I left my ambitions
somewhere in this mess. I have shifted
a thousand papers, shelved
a hundred books, thrown away
the gowns and slippers that no longer
fit. What a mess I have become, an unfinished life.
Day 694.
Hesitation is for the fearful,
the incompetent, the lost.
This palace has become a pleasant
prison, this view of rivers and fields
an excuse to linger, incomplete.
The wind carries the scent of the sea.
Day 695.
I see a gleam on the horizon
like the lighthouse at Alexandria.
And if I dare leave the palace
of my fears? If I cross the threshold
to unknown roads, what have I lost
but the dull patterns cast
in someone else’s mosaic, or
some other queen’s cherished tapestries?
I hesitate for a moment, blinking
away the sun’s burn, and then
I take that step, out of the history
of sorrow, to the possibility of joy.
© 2019 Jennifer Crow
© 2004–2025, The Future Fire: ISSN 1746-1839
The magazine retains non-exclusive rights for this publication only, and to all formatting and layout;
all other rights have been asserted by and remain with the individual authors and artists.
#noAI #noImageAI: the owner of this website does not consent to the content on this website being used or downloaded by any third parties, including automated systems, for the purposes of developing, training or operating generative artificial intelligence or other machine learning systems.